The new rule in the game - Treat other people the way they would like to be treated.
Think of every interaction as an experiment that explains a little bit more about the individual you're dealing with. Then, when someone defies your expectations, don't get mad. Just change your expectations to more accurately align with reality. Once you understand your colleagues' operating instructions, you might decide to approach them differently. Use different words. Be more or less aggressive.
Peter Bregman’s Blog –
http://blogs.harvardbusiness.org/bregman/2009/09/a-new-rule-for-the-workplace.html